Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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