sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
