Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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