im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
