I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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