And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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