Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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