drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I intend to get homeless drunk
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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