If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
