just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize