She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
