your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
