bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Vodka?
Forever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
