apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
did i walk over a car last night?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
