Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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