please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
