No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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