Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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