New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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