listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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