My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
