im drinking this country out of the recession.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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