Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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