Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
