tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
