He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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