omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
