he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
