i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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