You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
