thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize