so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
