my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
His hands were made for my vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
