My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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