I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize