I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
