in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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