I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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