i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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