All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
