i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
