would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
