I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
