part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
