The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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