He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
