Already got asked if we're dating
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
