He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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