i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize