Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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