Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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