She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
