Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
