if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
