life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
