why didn't you poke me back
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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