Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
