I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
