he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
