"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
