I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
