Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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