Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
