I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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