I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
