I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
