I'd wear matching sweaters with you
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
