Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
