I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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